Monday, April 11, 2016

Crazy Mind Games and Monday Weigh In

I did my Monday weigh in and DRUM ROLL PLEASE 196 lbs.  I am so happy.  It has not been easy but I know it’s all going to be worth it!!!!!

I never thought how hard it was going to be mentally.  I did not realize the mind games I was going to go through every second of every day I think about food, and it’s just not fast food, or foods that are not good for you.  I would love a nice cold bowl of Cottage Cheese with fresh slices of Tomatoes, I would love to have a nice garden salad, I would love a thing of string cheese.  I want food, I want to chew something.  Right now the Surgeon said I can’t chew gum because it can add air into my stomach.  I only can chew enough ice before it freezes my mouth.  It really is a big struggle for me.  I have when I cook dinner for my family and I can’t eat it with them.  I have been making food my husband and kids like but I don’t so it has not been that hard.  But at this point I would eat that too.  I told my sister and husband the other day I am ready to cut my toe nails and eat them (okay not really).  I have such an amazing nurse that is the best support and I emailed her yesterday telling her how I am feeling, and wondering if there is anything I could do different, well to come to find out I am not getting enough protein in.  I have to have at least 60 grams of Protein a day.  I am lucky to get 30 in a day.  Drinking Protein shakes are hard for me, I would rather just have water.  Since I have been trying to get more Protein I am doing better today, still not as good as I was hoping but I am doing better.  The only advice I can give you is listen to your doctor, listen to your body.  EAT ALL YOUR PROTEIN!!!! She suggested me to mark my calendar, I only have 10 days left, I can start eating soft foods on the 11th day :)  I have decided I am going to make me a chain that I can rip off a piece of paper each day. So I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  

I have been thinking how excited I am to start cooking for myself and family, I have several different cook books that I use but it’s always hard to remember which recipe is on what cook book, so I decided I was going to go through all my cook books and write down all the good recipes that I want to cook, there will be a lot of changes to them. HUGE mistake doing it when you can’t eat, but I am really excited to get all my recipes on binder.

I saw this quote that I needed to hear today.  “A bad attitude is like a flat tire, you won’t go anywhere until you change it.”  This struck hard for me.  It’s true I have had a bad attitude with working out, dieting, changing my life style, when you get comfortable one way, even though I knew it was the wrong way, I was not going anywhere, other in one foot in my grave.  I have finally change it and I am going somewhere now.  Not only for me, for my career and most importantly my FAMILY.  I want my husband and my girls to be proud of me, I want to be proud of myself.  I am ready to look in the mirror and say “Your beautiful, your worth it, you are a daughter of god who loves you”
I want to have my energy back, I want to be the mom I am supposed to be and most importantly I want to be the wife my husband deserves.  I am so excited to see what next week brings, I get so excited to think of my future.  I am getting happy, I am dealing with my depression better, I am dealing with everything better that is thrown my way.


-Shay L. Olsen

   

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