I did my Monday weigh in and DRUM ROLL PLEASE 196 lbs. I am so happy. It has not been easy but I know it’s all going to be worth it!!!!!
I never thought how hard it was going to be
mentally. I did not realize the mind
games I was going to go through every second of every day I think about food,
and it’s just not fast food, or foods that are not good for you. I would love a nice cold bowl of Cottage
Cheese with fresh slices of Tomatoes, I would love to have a nice garden salad,
I would love a thing of string cheese. I
want food, I want to chew something. Right
now the Surgeon said I can’t chew gum because it can add air into my
stomach. I only can chew enough ice
before it freezes my mouth. It really is
a big struggle for me. I have when I
cook dinner for my family and I can’t eat it with them. I have been making food my husband and kids
like but I don’t so it has not been that hard.
But at this point I would eat that too.
I told my sister and husband the other day I am ready to cut my toe
nails and eat them (okay not really). I
have such an amazing nurse that is the best support and I emailed her yesterday
telling her how I am feeling, and wondering if there is anything I could do
different, well to come to find out I am not getting enough protein in. I have to have at least 60 grams of Protein a
day. I am lucky to get 30 in a day. Drinking Protein shakes are hard for me, I
would rather just have water. Since I
have been trying to get more Protein I am doing better today, still not as good
as I was hoping but I am doing better.
The only advice I can give you is listen to your doctor, listen to your
body. EAT ALL YOUR PROTEIN!!!! She suggested me to mark my calendar, I only have 10 days left, I can start eating soft foods on the 11th day :) I have decided I am going to make me a chain that I can rip off a piece of paper each day. So I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have been thinking how excited I am to start
cooking for myself and family, I have several different cook books that I use
but it’s always hard to remember which recipe is on what cook book, so I
decided I was going to go through all my cook books and write down all the good
recipes that I want to cook, there will be a lot of changes to them. HUGE
mistake doing it when you can’t eat, but I am really excited to get all my recipes
on binder.
I saw this quote that I needed to hear today. “A bad attitude is like a flat tire, you won’t
go anywhere until you change it.” This struck
hard for me. It’s true I have had a bad
attitude with working out, dieting, changing my life style, when you get
comfortable one way, even though I knew it was the wrong way, I was not going
anywhere, other in one foot in my grave.
I have finally change it and I am going somewhere now. Not only for me, for my career and most
importantly my FAMILY. I want my husband
and my girls to be proud of me, I want to be proud of myself. I am ready to look in the mirror and say “Your
beautiful, your worth it, you are a daughter of god who loves you”
I want to have my energy back, I want to be the
mom I am supposed to be and most importantly I want to be the wife my husband
deserves. I am so excited to see what
next week brings, I get so excited to think of my future. I am getting happy, I am dealing with my
depression better, I am dealing with everything better that is thrown my way.
-Shay L. Olsen
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