Extremely rough week

I don’t even know where to begin this blog post.  This last week has been so much harder than I ever imagined.  I have had some major ups and downs. I think I felt every emotion possible this week, I have been scared, sad, depressed, & pissed off.  I finally have decided to blog about it, I stated earlier this is blog is for the good, bad and the ugly days.This is the everyday struggles of weight loss after the Stomach Sleeve Surgery.

On Thursday April 21^st I was able to start my Phase 2 of Solid Foods.  I was so scared but so excited to start eating someone what normal food again.  Protein Shakes and Broth was just not cutting it for me anymore.  For Breakfast I still had a Protein Shake, in the morning it is crazy trying to get my two older girls off to school, and dealing with a crazy 2 year old and also getting ready for work- which half the time I am still in my PJ when I start work at 8:30 am.  That is one nice thing about working from home.  For Lunch I had /4 cup of Tuna Fish with 1 TBSP Mayo and some pickle juice to help it not be so sticky, I also had 1 piece of toast which tasted like Heaven!!!!!  My stomach for the most part did very well with the food, I only had a couple of pains but once it settled my stomach handled it.  I was excited to know that I could eat something without having too many issues.  For dinner my husband and I went on a date to the Grocery Store, we had to get all the food for my daughter 2^nd birthday Party, we went to a New Restaurant Black Bear Dinner and I got a small Ham and Cheese Omelet, I was only able to eat about 5 bites and I was done, it tasted to good but it is crazy the small amount of food I was able to eat.  Good thing is I can get at least 2 – 3 meals out of it.

On Friday we had to go to Utah and get our taxes done, My husband and I just had a Protein Shake for breakfast, which was strange because normally I am the one saying stop at McDonald's and let’s get Breakfast, it was so nice not to stop and eat that kind of food, it does not even tempt me anymore, I will be honest I would stop at McDonald's 3-4 times a week for Breakfast, I have not had McDonald's in over 4 weeks now. I don’t miss it at all.  We stopped at a Gas Station and normally I go for the junk food, or treats, this time I went and found a cheese slice and filled my water jug full of water,  Pop does not tempt me either anymore, which has been a huge thing to overcome for me.

On Saturday I woke up thinking I have not weighed in a couple of days so I got on the scales to see where I am at and it said I GAINED 3.5 lbs!!!!!!! how in the heck (that is not the words I choose to say) is that even possible, I don’t eat that much, I follow my diet to the “T” I have never cheated, I have not had junk food, Pop, Fast Food, Sugar.  I flipped out, I instantly went right back to the negative Shay, already said to myself, I failed I can’t even loose weight with Stomach Surgery, I was so mad and myself, I was scared, I was depressed.  Thankfully I have such an amazing Nurse at the Nicholson Clinic, she is only one email away.  I emailed her and told her what was going on and she told me to take DEEP BREATHS!!!!! This is normal, Stalls will happen as your body adjusts.  This can last anywhere from one week to three weeks.  Something I did not realize that she brought to my attention, is maybe the scales will Stall but you will notice measurements changing.  She said don’t use just the Scales as the only measure of progress use measurements also, write them down and do your measurements.   I finally took a deep breath and told my self your not going to fail, this is normal.  YOU CAN DO THIS…. I WILL NOT QUIT. A friend of mine on Facebook posted this yesterday and I needed to see this at that moment.

I decided on Monday I was not going to do a weigh in until I feel like I am ready, I don’t want to be discouraged anymore, I just need to stay focused on doing what I am supposed to be doing and following my Dr Directions and when I am ready I will get back on the Scales.  I think the worst thing I ever did was getting on them every day, but seeing them go down so fast it was such an amazing feeling.  I have to remember I am only into this 4 weeks and what I have already accomplished in 4 weeks is pretty amazing. 

On Tuesday I went to the Dr for a checkup since I had my surgery in Texas I could not go back to see the Dr. so I made an apt with my Family Dr here and I was explaining to him that I have not been on my diabetes medicine for 3.5 weeks, I can’t take my Metformin cause it eats my stomach alive.  Normally I have to take 2 500mg Metformin Twice a Day and 0.6 mg of Victozia injections once a day.  He looked at my weight loss and also my daily tests on my One Touch and he said we will just take you off your Metformin Meds.  I almost feel out of my chair.  I can’t believe I am this close of getting off all my diabetes meds.  I can handle one small injection a day right now. I forgot to test yesterday morning so I tested today and GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!  I am at 99!!!!!

That is pretty awesome, before my weight loss and taking 4 500 mg a day of Metformin I would wake up anywhere between 180-200.  I am so happy I screamed for joy!!! My daughter Ellie looked at me like what the heck mom.  I love this saying, “Today is a good day for a good day” and today will be a good day, I have changed my attitude and know that I am going to keep having rough days/weeks but I can do it and you will NEVER SEE ME QUIT.

-Shay L. Olsen-

Weekly Weigh In

This week has been a little tough for me knowing I am only down to less then a week and then I can transition into the soft foods.  I won't lie I am kind of scared.  I don't know how my stomach will feel, I don't know what I can and can't eat, some people stomach is not the same after surgery, the foods I could eat I may not be able to eat.  I am nervous that I will just go right back to my old self again, I am worried I am going to fail once I can start eating again.  I have had some ups and downs but I am keeping positive.  I have such great support from so many Friends and Family.

It was so nice to go friend’s house on Saturday and they are all saying how good I am looking, that they can tell that I have lost weight, I still look in the Mirror and think I am still so fat and so ugly.  I love my Friends and Family, they give me so much Support to get through this hard time. 

Today I got on the scales and I am down to 190.9 LBS.  Since Last Monday I have lost 5.1 LBS.  Since I started this crazy Journey I am down Exactly 30 lbs. It feel so good to lose 30 lbs but I keep getting down thinking it should come off faster, that is not a good mind set to have, as long as each day I do what I am supposed to do I know I will be successful. 

This is something you guys may not think it's that big of a deal but it is to me.  I am a short person I am 5'5" so I have to push my seat in the car way up so my short feet can reach the peddles.  Before my weight loss my stomach would almost hit the steering wheel,  I hated my stomach always touching the wheel, it would make me so sad cause even driving a car would remind me how fat I was.  I went to Church yesterday and I got in the car and I pushed my seat where I needed it and still had plenty of room to drive.  I was so happy to see my stomach does not hit the wheel anymore. 

-Shay L. Olsen-

The best Indoor Grill and Dropped 2 pants sizes

If you know me, you know I don’t like to cook that much, which is why I am where I am today. Okay, I guess I love to cook but I hate to clean up the mess.  To me it’s easier to run and get something and either leave the mess at the restaurant or just go through a drive through and get something to eat there and then throw away the wrappers.  BUT……. With this new tool, I am having to train my mind that it’s not the attitude I can have anymore.  Since I have been home from Texas I have made dinner every night. Most of it has been the things that I don’t like to eat but my husband and kids love it.  I am not a soup person but the chicken noodle soup I made was great, well I guess I should say the Broth was great.  I made Shepherd’s Pie (which I don’t like at all) I have made Free Lo’ Tealas ( I have no idea on how to spell it)  we ate once at a neighbor’s house growing up when my mom was  in the hospital really sick and ever since then my family loved it and then I made it for my husband when we were first married and he loved it and wanted it all the time.  I just sick of them and never really wanted to make them so this week we made them and my husband and kids thought they were so good and keep saying why don’t you make these more often.  I guess I can change a couple of things to make it fit our new life style in eating.

A friend of mine said she bought T-fal GC702 OptiGrill Stainless Steel, so I did my research and loved what I saw, sometimes I want to Grill but don’t want to fire up the grill or the smoker.  I got mine in the mail yesterday and thought I would try it out.  I had some frozen hamburgers from a while ago, I defrosted them just a little to be able to separate them put them on the grill frozen, Still trying to figure out the buttons, and how to work it but I got it to finally start cooking.  I was shocked on the amount of blood, fat that came out of the hamburgers.  It almost made me sick.  My family said they were some of the best hamburgers except some got over done OOPS!!!!!  It’s so nice to sit around the dinner table with my beautiful girls and my husband talk about their day, ask them how they are doing.  I asked the girls do you love that we are home eating now.  My oldest daughter said mom my stomach does not hurt any more like it use to when we would eat out all the time.  That made me sick to think I was putting my kids in pain because I was Lazy.  We decided after dinner if we all pitch in and help in the kitchen it just does not leave it on mom to do it.  We can get the kitchen cleaned in 10-15 min with Team Work.

I had to run to Walmart to get a couple of things and I walked past the smaller size clothes section Which I normally just walk past that section and always had to go to the Plus Size section, I decided to see stop and look at the shirts, NOTHING ever on that side would fit me but I looked and thought I would buy a couple of the shirts and take them home and try them on.  They were just t shirts.  GUESS WHAT!!!!! They fit….. I am so happy.  I also tried on a couple of pair of pants that I held on for about 5 years and I fit in them and could actually sit in them, I did not even have to lay down on my bed and push my stomach down to zip them up.  I have dropped two pants sizes already.  I am finally feeling this surgery was worth it.  We have been walking almost every night as a family.  I love my new life style, I am so beyond grateful for the second chance to get my life back in order and be the Mom, Wife and Friend that I am supposed to be.  I thank my Heavenly Father every day for the blessing he has given me, the strength to get through this and the will power.  I know because of him I am able to get through this hard trial I am going through.  

-Shay L. Olsen

 

Crazy Mind Games and Monday Weigh In

I did my Monday weigh in and DRUM ROLL PLEASE 196 lbs.  I am so happy.  It has not been easy but I know it’s all going to be worth it!!!!!

I never thought how hard it was going to be mentally.  I did not realize the mind games I was going to go through every second of every day I think about food, and it’s just not fast food, or foods that are not good for you.  I would love a nice cold bowl of Cottage Cheese with fresh slices of Tomatoes, I would love to have a nice garden salad, I would love a thing of string cheese.  I want food, I want to chew something.  Right now the Surgeon said I can’t chew gum because it can add air into my stomach.  I only can chew enough ice before it freezes my mouth.  It really is a big struggle for me.  I have when I cook dinner for my family and I can’t eat it with them.  I have been making food my husband and kids like but I don’t so it has not been that hard.  But at this point I would eat that too.  I told my sister and husband the other day I am ready to cut my toe nails and eat them (okay not really).  I have such an amazing nurse that is the best support and I emailed her yesterday telling her how I am feeling, and wondering if there is anything I could do different, well to come to find out I am not getting enough protein in.  I have to have at least 60 grams of Protein a day.  I am lucky to get 30 in a day.  Drinking Protein shakes are hard for me, I would rather just have water.  Since I have been trying to get more Protein I am doing better today, still not as good as I was hoping but I am doing better.  The only advice I can give you is listen to your doctor, listen to your body.  EAT ALL YOUR PROTEIN!!!! She suggested me to mark my calendar, I only have 10 days left, I can start eating soft foods on the 11th day :)  I have decided I am going to make me a chain that I can rip off a piece of paper each day. So I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  

I have been thinking how excited I am to start cooking for myself and family, I have several different cook books that I use but it’s always hard to remember which recipe is on what cook book, so I decided I was going to go through all my cook books and write down all the good recipes that I want to cook, there will be a lot of changes to them. HUGE mistake doing it when you can’t eat, but I am really excited to get all my recipes on binder.

I saw this quote that I needed to hear today.  “A bad attitude is like a flat tire, you won’t go anywhere until you change it.”  This struck hard for me.  It’s true I have had a bad attitude with working out, dieting, changing my life style, when you get comfortable one way, even though I knew it was the wrong way, I was not going anywhere, other in one foot in my grave.  I have finally change it and I am going somewhere now.  Not only for me, for my career and most importantly my FAMILY.  I want my husband and my girls to be proud of me, I want to be proud of myself.  I am ready to look in the mirror and say “Your beautiful, your worth it, you are a daughter of god who loves you”

I want to have my energy back, I want to be the mom I am supposed to be and most importantly I want to be the wife my husband deserves.  I am so excited to see what next week brings, I get so excited to think of my future.  I am getting happy, I am dealing with my depression better, I am dealing with everything better that is thrown my way.

-Shay L. Olsen

   

Less then 200 pounds BABY!!!!!

I never thought I would see what I saw on the scales today.  I am officially under 200lbs. Today I weigh 199.7 lbs.  When I saw the numbers on the scales I started crying, it has been years since I have been under 200 lbs.  Since March 12^th I am down 21 lbs.  Today I finally am thankful I did this surgery and that I am seeing results.  I am so grateful for such a loving caring husband who loves me no matter what but supports me in everything I do.  I am so grateful for my girl, they encourage me every day, they ask me all the time who I am doing, and they want to make sure I am doing well.  I am one very blessed women.

-Shay L. Olsen

1 Week After my Surgery and some amazing NEW things I bought

It’s been a little over a week since my Stomach Sleeve Surgery and I have to say it has been hard, really hard.  Something that I did not really realize is how bad it was going to affect my emotions. I am already an emotional person any ways then add on top of that having major surgery, not eating like you use to, and realizing there is no turning back.  In the past it the diet was too hard for me I would just give up.  This time, I have not choice, I have to press forward. 

Monday I decided I was going to by a running stroller, I am not a runner but someday I would hope to be one, but if I have a good fast walking stroller and was able to put my two year old in it I would have no excuses.  I make a lot of excuses why I don’t go to the gym.  I am to tired, I don’t have enough time, I work 8-10 hours a day at home, and then I have to clean the house (not all the time) and take care of my other girls.  Life gets in the way,  But if I had a good running/walking Stroller and if I had 15 min or more of free time with work, I can just put the baby in the stroller and go around the block.  So far since we got the Running Stroller we have walked every day!!! It’s been so nice to just put on my shoes and go walking in the neighborhood. We ended up getting a BOB sport Utility Stroller, it seriously is the best stroller, it is well built, amazing to walk with, not pushing so hard to get it to move.  I love it.  I have to say having such great stroller has made it so much easier to go out and walk and not have to push so hard on a stroller.

Tuesday was a little hard for me, reality set in.  My husband said we were going to go to a BBQ on Saturday and hang out with some friends.  Let’s just say I blew up.  I though how dare you agree to going to a BBQ, that is like putting a glass of beer in front of an alcoholic.  I was so upset at my husband who was only thinking I need to get Shay out of the house and we can hang out with friends.  After I explained myself to him on how unfair it would be while everyone else was going to eat the COMFORT food and the food I loved, I was going to sip on my broth or Protein Shake.  I told him we were not going and hung up.  Yes I was not a nice wife at that moment, but I was sore, sick, tired, and my head was messing with me and it was messing with my really bad.  Luckily I was able to overcome the War with Demons’ and ended the night on a positive note.

Thursday was a good day for me, but still it was tough but with a positive mind and know you are doing this for you it sure helps.  I decided since I bought such an amazing stroller I needed better shoes, I am the type of person that likes to buy cheap, never really had a good pair of running shoes,  My husband and I decided we were going to go to Idaho Falls to go to the running store.  We go to Idaho Falls all the time, something we always do when we go there is we eat out.  I was talking to my husband and I said why don’t we have dinner before we go to Idaho Falls and then we are not eating out and plus while I am having broth or a shake you guys are eating fast food.  It was amazing I had dinner ready and my family ate and then we ran to Idaho Falls.  Tetons Running has you run a tread mill and watch your feet and tells you what kind of shoes you need.  I was a little nervous running but luckily it was only for 10 seconds and I was able to run for a second and not have it hurt.  I ended up getting the Adidas Energy Boost shoes, oh my word….. Where have they been my whole life.  They feel like you are not wearing any shoes.  I love them and the best part is they were last year’s model so I got them 40% off.  They were normally 160.00 and I got them for $ 96.00.  This is a MUST if you are planning on walking/running for your exercise. 

While we were in Texas I got an Apple Watch, this also has been my best friend, I know how many steps I am taking I can keep track of my daily routine.  This morning we decided to go for a walk so I put it in the exercise mode and it asked how many calories I want to burn, it tracked my heart rate, how many min it took and how many miles. I know you’ll look at it and say wow she is a slow walker, but if you notice the time. I am usually still in bed, the fact I was up at 7:30 in the morning and wanting to walk at 8:00 is unbelievable for me.  Something I have noticed since my surgery I can’t sleep in any more, and I have no clue why but when I was not eating healthy or walking or drinking so much Soda I would have the hardest time waking up in the morning.  Once we were done with our walk we started working on our front yard, my husband pulled out a huge bush that we did not want any more and we are going to plant new flowers and give the front of my house a makeover,  It feels so nice to want to go and do things.  All I wanted to do for years is sleep in, watch TV and eat. 

I forgot all about last night, So a good friend of ours came over last night to help Eric pull out that big bush and we started talking and time went fast, When I realized it was 6:30 and I had not even started dinner, I said to my husband I will just run into town and get you guys something to eat.  Our Friend said just come over the BBQ.  My heart sunk for a min and I decided I can’t hide from this anymore and I can do hard things, there will be many many more times that I have to overcome challenges. I gave in and we went to our friends BBQ.  As everyone was eating Hamburgers, Hot dogs, Chip and a salad, I was sipping on my Protein Shake and my Sugar Free Popsicle.  To be honest with you it was just great to get out of the house and be with some great friends, we laughed so hard, I had a great time.  This is when I finally knew Dieting is a battle and it’s going to be a battle I win, Food is not going to win, I am going to win.  I smelt the Food and for just one min I was mad, angry, pissed off and sad but then I realized this is just the begging of my new life.  I was so happy that I went and overcome some of my fights……  I know I got this I know I can do this and I will do this!!!!

-Shay L. Olsen

About Shay Olsen

My name is Shay Olsen I would like to share with you my long journey on how I have become the person I am today.  At my largest I was 229lbs and a size 20, I always felt I was the fattest person in the room, I gave up several time, I have tried it all, Weight Watchers, calorie counting, diet pills, you name it I have tried it.

I love food and I love eating, But I don’t love dieting. I am completely embarrassed, ashamed, very disappointed in myself.  The person I looked in the mirror every day for the past 14 years is not the real me.  When I met the love of my life, I was a size 8-10, but I weighed 173 lbs. I would look in the mirror and love myself, I would feel pretty, I felt like my husband would look at me and be proud of me. I was proud to be his wife.  

3 months after we were married we found out we were expecting our first child.  This came to us as a complete shock as I suffer from PCOS.  Dr said it could take a year or longer to get pregnant.  

We decided we were going to prevent having a child for a while so we can learn to live with each other, to get our career's figured out.  We just bought our first home together. We wanted to enjoy life with each other for a while before we brought children into our family. Well God had another plan for us and 1 year 4 days after we were married we welcomed our First Beautiful baby girl. The Dr said I was border line of Gestational Diabetes.  Our First Baby Girl came out a whopping 8lbs 14 oz. and 21.5 inches long.  The dr said I may have been wrong I think you did have the Gestational Diabetes even though the test was border line. 

 I unfortunately gained 37 lbs with her and retained SOOOO much water with her my belly looked like I was have Triplets.  Unfortunately after having her I had to go back to work, started having Horrible eating habits, never made myself a priority, I had a hard time losing my baby weight plus added a few more pounds ok maybe more like 20 more pounds.  I hit my highest I have ever been.  I felt ugly, I hated myself, all I wanted to do was eat and sit on the couch.   

  When our first daughter was 3 we decided to try for another baby, I still was on the heavy side but had lost a few pounds.  It took us about 4 months to get pregnant with our second daughter.  Dr instantly put me on Glucophage and made me meet with a dietitian, I even had to keep a food diary.  I lost 14 lbs the first trimester and gained 13 lbs the rest of my pregnancy. I delivered 1 pound lighter with my 2^nd daughter.

 I thought I was going to keep all the weight off and start living my life for my two daughters and husband.  But NOPE life gets in the way, we went right back to our old eating habits, our old ways and then again all the weight. I even would go get Chilies take out and yes not the healthy choices and go home and watch The Biggest Looser wishing I was them as I was stuffing my face. 

That is when I finally realized wow I have a food addiction.  Did I do anything about it other then Wish?  NOPE I did not.  I made every excuse in the book why I could not cook at home, why I wanted to eat out all the time.  I thought it would be easier for us to just go and get something then I don’t have to clean my kitchen, was the dishes, we ate and left the mess at the restaurant.  The only positive thing I could say is I really never gained much more weight maybe 5 lbs – 7 lbs and then I would lose it, gain it back and then loose it.

 I tried EVERYTHING from diet pills, weight watchers, walked with friends, joined several gyms and would go a couple of times but pay for it for 24 months cause of the silly contracts.  For some reason I could never get to the point that enough is enough and want to change.  I did a lot a talk but never wanted to do anything. I keep saying to myself I will do it tomorrow and then that day would come and something would come up and nothing would happen.  Fast Forward 3 years.  I was not feeling normal, I always was so tired, I always had a stomach ache, was VERY DEPRESSED, still was heavy.

 At this point I weighed 227lbs. I went to the doctor and I got the dreaded news.  I had type 2 Diabetes.  I thought my whole world came crashing down.  I was feeling all the emotions all over again. I hated myself for what I did to my body, I was embarrassed, I was angry, I thought my husband did not love me anymore, that he did not find me sexually attracted. We were trying to have our third baby and we tried for a couple of years.

 I became very angry, I was sad and depressed all the time, because I could not give my husband another child.  Luckily I had such a great Dr and he put me on the right medicine and he even put me on depression medication, YES I swallowed my pride and started on depression medication.

 Still after 4.5 years of trying to have another baby it was just not happening.  We decided to keep trying but also try to get me better.  I reconnected with one of my good friends from elementary school through High School Brother who was a creator of an amazing vitamins and supplements.  I decided I would give this a try. It worked it was amazing weight was falling off of me, I was eating healthy I was making good choices, I worked out 3 times a week with him, he was my personal trainer if I remember correctly I lost 34 or 37 lbs and a lot inches. I got down to 193 lbs I was able to go off my diabetes medicine.

 I was finally for the first time PROUD OF MY SELF.  I was happy, I loved how my husband looked at me, I was a good mom, a good person. My husband and I decided we were going to move to Idaho to live by family.  I knew it was going to be hard to do it without my personal trainer but I thought to myself I have this, I can do it.

 We moved to Idaho and I was able to keep the weight off for about 3 weeks, then I ended up right back to my old self again, back to my old routine, back to not making good healthy choices, and started gaining the weight back.  I ended back up to 220lbs again.  Back on my diabetes meds, back on the depression medicine.  Back to old fat self again. 

Let’s fast forward 5 years.  We were able to finally have our third princess.  I did pretty well with my weight only gaining 18 lbs.  Our baby girl decided she could not wait to come to our family and was born 7 weeks early.  We were over joyed she did so good that we were very blessed to bring her home 11 days after she was born.  She was so tiny we brought her home at 4lbs 4 oz.  For the first time I was able to breast feed her and for some reason my body loved it and I lost close to 20 lbs. 

After bringing her home and working full time and taking care of my other girls after 4 weeks I had to give up on Breast feeding her and go to bottle.  I tried changing my life style for the better and of course I fell right back to my old self again, eating garbage, drinking so much soda, not exercising.  I ended up gaining ALL my weight back AGAIN!!!!

 In November of 2015 is when I decided I need to do something about my weight I am back up to 220lbs. I have a few amazing people in my life that have had this surgery done and was such an inspiration to me and I decided I am going to bite the bullet and find a TOOL that will help me get my life back.  We knew our insurance did not cover any weight loss surgery so we started looking at going to Mexico for the Sleeve Surgery after doing more research and talking to other people we found an amazing Dr in Dallas Texas that was able to help me with what I need. 

On March 31^st 2016, My life changed forever. I had the Gastric Stomach Sleeve.  I can’t thank The Nicholson Clinic and Dr Carlton for saving my life.  I am so grateful they gave me a tool that will help me live a long healthy life as long as I do my part.  This is not a quick fix, this will not fix it all by itself.  This is why I have decided I am not going to hide any more about my weight, and just sit on my butt and Wish I was beautiful and Skinny.

 I have decided I am going to share my personal experience, and the everyday life of a person who has a FOOD Addiction.  The one thing I learned is Food is a drug of choice, it’s no different than anyone has a drug addiction, pornography addiction, or alcoholic addiction.  I admitted it, I am at war with my weight, and I am fighting all the food demons right now and I am going to WIN!!! 

I am only on clear liquids for right the next 2 weeks, I am going to start blogging my food journal, the daily life I have, the mistakes I have made and the exercise I have done for that day.  This is going to hold me accountable in EVERYTHING I do every day.

I want to thank my husband who is my world, my rock, my everything.  I could not have done this without him, my beautiful three children Thank you for letting me be your mom. I love you all with all my heart!

These are pretty much all my before pictures, I hated getting my pictures taken, so there is not many.  These are my ugly fat pictures

-Shay L. Olsen